Being An Adult Child Of A Narcissist

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People who are confident in any skill amaze me.

It doesn’t matter if the skill is working on a car or playing a guitar or balancing a ledger sheet. They know what the results will be when they begin their task and then they do it.

I can’t remember ever beginning a task with the absolute knowledge that I could complete it without a problem.

There is one thing, however, at which I am an expert. I am an expert at being the adult child of a narcissist. I have had decades of experience.

Here are the basics:

No intimacy: You learn at a very young age that trusting another person to protect you or your feelings is a mistake. Best to never really give your feelings away because it’s just not safe. Sure, it’s lonely to keep a barrier up at all times, but we do what we have to do. I’ve proven time and time again that I can reject intimacy with ease. Hell, the fact that I’ve been married three times is a testament to that!

Accept that you are unlovable: No one really likes you. You are flawed in way too many ways. You’re not that bright. You’re never going to coast on charm or looks and you really aren’t very good at anything.

You will never know what you want to be when you grow up: How can you know what you want for your life when your formative years are spent being forced to be a reflection of a narcissistic parent? Oh, and you failed at that. Whatever choices you made were wrong so you learn to understand that your own instincts can’t possibly be trusted.
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