YOUR HEART SINKS AS YOU READ THE TEXT, “I’M NOT IN A GREAT PLACE RIGHT NOW. I NEED YOU. PLEASE HELP.”
It’s been over a year now. You’ve cut off all ties and contact with your ex, and you’ve finally gained some semblance of mental health. But this … this random text throws you completely off. As you quickly type the message with shaking fingers “What do you need help with?” and click send, your stomach drops. There is a dark feeling in the pit of your chest. It’s the ominous and foreboding feeling you sometimes get before thunderstorms and tragic news. Deep down, you know that you’ve made the wrong choice.
You’ve just been hoovered.
If you can relate to what I’ve just written, you’re likely experiencing a dangerously abusive manipulation technique known as hoovering. Hoovering is a technique that drags you into cycles of abuse, disrupting your entire life and those around oyu. In this article, you’ll learn how to prevent this abusive manipulation from fooling you.
WHAT IS HOOVERING?
Hoovering is an abuse tactic frequently used by people who struggle with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, and histrionic personality disorders. Named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner, hoovering is basically a way of “sucking” a person back into an abusive relationship. Hoovering is typically done after a long period of no contact between the victim and the abuser. In an attempt to regain control over their victims, hoovering abusers will use manipulation tactics that target their victim’s soft spots and emotional vulnerabilities. If they are successful, the hoovering abuser will use their victim until they are bored of them and discard of them once again.