Have you been sitting around, asking yourself the following questions?
“Why does it take so long to heal from this heartache?”, “Why can’t I stop thinking about the person who treated me like crap?”, “Why do I still love him/her after what they did to me?”, “Will this pain ever go away?”
Obsessing over an emotionally abusive relationship is draining, and often so detrimental that many lose their jobs, homes, and even their children. In severe cases, suicide is attempted and sometimes successfully carried out.
There are many elements involved in healing from Narcissistic abuse. Just as with any loss, there will be periods of grieving, denial, anger, and depression. However, unlike a typical break-up where you would eventually get to a point of acceptance, many victims of Narcissistic abuse stay fixated and obsess about their abuser, often suffering as long as ten years or more post-breakup.
Why does this happen and what can you do to heal from an emotionally abusive relationship? Following are the top six tips for getting over Narcissistic abuse.
1.Learn grounding techniques and self-soothing methods
The secret sauce that you won’t find in most articles regarding healing is the importance of learning to ground yourself – a.k.a. self-soothing. Whether you do this is a good indicator of whether or not you will truly begin to heal.
Narcissistic abuse is an emotional trauma. It targets your primal abandonment wound. When you feel betrayed, rejected, and abandoned by the Narcissist, your amygdala hijacks your rational thinking and sends you into fight-or-flight mode. You have a thought (I’ve been rejected because I’m not good enough), you experience an emotion from that thought (panic, sadness, depression), and then you run with it like a Running Back on crack with blinders on.
Yeah…you’ll want to stop doing that.
There’s not a lot you can do to prevent this from happening completely, but practicing self-soothing methods and grounding techniques will help damper this emotional hijack if repeated consistently. The best techniques are the same ones used to help with PTSD triggers and emotional trauma.
Learning to self-soothe is the critical first step because otherwise, any activities you engage in to heal and move forward will be drained away by the emotional hijacking caused by your amygdala.